It's kind of funny to realize that the way you think and talk is influenced so heavily by everything around you and what you read online. About a year or two ago I started referring to my blog readers as "the blog" the way Stephanie does without even noticing . . . and I've been saying to myself "I need to tell the blog that I got divorced" for many months now.
So yeah. I got divorced.
Many of you probably figured this out already based on subtle changes in my writing ("I" instead of "we") and the fact that I've moved twice in the last year. The divorce was official at the end of 2010, a year that has earned the dubious honor of the worst year of my life.
I'm not going to go into details about what happened. All I want you to know is that both he and I are in much better places now, and both much happier than we were in 2009.
One thing I did want to mention is the best response I got from anyone when I was going through the divorce, so that you can maybe use it yourself when you're at a loss for what to say when in that situation. Here's the story:
I was at my dentist's office, sitting in the chair with the bib on and everything, when he asked how I was doing. The last time I'd seen him we'd talked about the wedding, so I sadly told him about the in-progress divorce.
He looked me straight in the eye and said: I'm sorry and congratulations.
And then proceeded to tell me that a friend of his said that very thing to him while my dentist was going through his divorce, and that it was the absolute perfect response. And it is.
It also doesn't hurt to throw in stories of people you know whose second marriages ended in a happily-ever-after. Just sayin'.
Thanks for ‘coming out.’ Best wishes to you on the trail ahead.
I can give you a “happily-ever-after” tail… because if my husband hadn’t gotten divorced then we never would have met, gone on a date or gotten married. We’re headed into our fourth year of marriage and they have been the most wonderful years of my life. You’ll find your “forever” when you are ready – and not a moment before.
I’m sorry to hear that your marriage ended but I’m happy to learn that you are both happier.
November 18, 2011
I’m sorry… and congratulations. Better to face it and move on with your lives. Happy 2nd marriage story: my husband and I are celebrating our 25th wedding anniversary next month. Second marriage for both of us, and we’re truly blessed with our blended family.
Thanks for telling us, and all the best as you move forward.